5 Biblical Ways to Deal with Self-Criticism (Negative Self-Talk)

5 Biblical Ways to Deal with Self-Criticism (Negative Self-Talk)

“I wish I was prettier, and thinner, and smarter, and more tanned”. “I wish I looked as beautiful as that girl”. “I’m ugly, and pathetic”. “Why can’t I run faster, or be more athletic like her”. “How come she got all the looks and not me? She’s so beautiful, and I’m…ugh”.

That was so hard for me to type, but honestly, I KNOW that so many of us Christian women have struggled with self-criticism (negative self-talk). We have all looked in the mirror, and then compared ourselves to others on social media, or at Church or work or school or wherever it is, and thought to ourselves, “I wish I looked more like her, and less like me”.

It is terribly hard to let go of feeling sorry for yourself and wishing you looked or were more like someone else, and come to the realization that YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. God does NOT make mistakes. He did NOT make ANY mistakes when He made you and formed you in your mother’s womb.

I know that it can be hard to accept. I COMPLETELY get it. I have struggled with my looks/appearance for YEARS. And I have struggled with nit-picking all these other ‘flaws’ that I have, too. But it doesn’t do you any good. It leads to nowhere by self-destruction.

Why is it so hard for us ladies to let go of desiring to be or look more like someone else, and less like ourselves? How come we go through this constant battle in our minds, fighting off or…rather, giving in to these negative words about us? Why can’t we just love and accept ourselves for who we are; for how God created us?

The Truth about Self-Criticism (Negative Self-Talk)

Proverbs 18:21(a) – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”

There is power in what you speak. The Bible says in that life and death are in the power of the tongue. If you speak positively about yourself, you will start to believe that and be happy about who you are, and what you look like etc. But if you choose to speak negatively about yourself, then that is going to have some damaging effects on how you perceive yourself, as well as your mental, spiritual and physical health.

There have been a few experiments where one would speak both positively and negatively to either different plants, or jars of rice or water, and see the damaging effects the negative talk has on those elements. How much more of a damaging effect will negative self-talk have on our own selves?

Women Are Their Own Worst Enemies

We, women, are emotional creatures. We are very emotionally led by things in life. God created us this way – as empathetic, nurturing, emotional human beings. It is definitely a strength of ours, but oftentimes it can have such a negative impact when we are being led by the more depressing side of emotions. 

In this world, there is so much criticism among women, from how they are to dress, look, act, think and so on. But we as Christian women are to be set apart. We are in this world, but are not of this world. We don’t need to think about or be influenced by these so-called societal norms. Instead, we should be led by the scriptures on how to be a Godly woman in this ungodly world. 

Even in the Christian realm, there is still so many women who struggle with negative self-talk, criticism, comparing themselves to others etc. It is hard not to go through those thoughts and feelings, especially if you are a young Christian, or a babe in Christ. 

How to Let Go and Learn to Love Yourself

Something that so many of us need to work on is really trusting in and claiming the promises of God written in His Word about who He says we are. We have to completely work on changing our mindset, to be more like Christ, and less like this world, and then to focus on shutting down and casting out negative thoughts and feelings. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 – “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”

These negative thoughts and feelings will come from the devil. Our mind is a battleground whereby we are constantly casting down imaginations and commanding them to submit to the obedience of Christ. This takes time and practice. It is a constant, daily battle. And I don’t think it will ever go away, but the more you grow and mature in the faith, and really stay grounded in Christ and His Word, the easier these internal battles become. 

And trust me when I say, I am still a work in progress, so I get how it will be so hard at first to really change your mindset and to truly go all in with the armor of God fighting against these mental battles.

But that is why we really need to depend upon God for His strength and guidance. He is the only one who can support us, uplift us and help fight these battles with us. 

How Can Women Stop?

Honestly, it is a choice. We are all given free will. This includes what you choose to entertain or let go of when it comes to thoughts/feelings in the mind. It all starts there. The devil attacked Eve in the Garden of Eden in the mind by getting her to question and go against the Word of God. There is nothing new under the sun. The devil uses the same tactics to try and get us to question what God says about us, and to essentially go against His Word.

What does God say about us?

• You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
• You are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27)
• You are a child of God (Galatians 3:26)
• God loves you (1 John 4:19)
• You are a Friend of Jesus (John 15:15)
• You are justified and redeemed (Romans 3:24)
• You are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• You are blessed (Jeremiah 17:7)
• You are God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
• You are a citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20)
• You are chosen (Ephesians 1:4)

How can we go from negative to positive talk?

Again, it is a choice. Start off by reading scriptures out aloud as an affirmation from God on who He says you are, and claim it! You ARE a child of God. You are a daughter of the King. God loves you and cares for you. He doesn’t want you to beat yourself up over the smallest of things. There are bigger things in life that we must focus on.

All of this is essentially a distraction from the devil to bring you down, and tear you apart. Because, when you are thinking so negatively about yourself, your mood changes, your health is affected, and you feel less encouraged to read the Bible and talk to God. This is why YOU need to make the decision to truly push yourself through this and fight those battles. Ask God for more faith, and for the strength to get through these hard times. Nothing is impossible with Him.

5 Biblical Ways to Deal with Self-Criticism 

1. Go to the Scriptures

The Word of God is powerful and alive. There are so many scriptures that talk about who God says you are in Christ Jesus. Read the Bible, learn the scriptures, and truly KNOW what it says. Take comfort in His Word.

2. Put on the Full Armor of God & Fight Those Battles

Everyday we need to put on the full armor of God before we go into spiritual battle. These negative thoughts and talks about yourself are not of God. He does not speak badly about you or talk down to you. He is our Heavenly Father who loves us and cares for us. God is always there for us. He is our rock and fortress; our Comforter and Prince of Peace. You cannot fight these battles alone. You need to truly rely upon God, His Word and His strength. 

3. Change your Mindset

This is a really hard thing to do at first, but you need to change your mindset, to have a more Christ-like mindset, in order to overcome the negative self-criticism. If you have a mind like Christ, then you won’t entertain or be inundated by so much negative self-talk. Learn to instantly cast out the negative thoughts and feelings that flood your mind, in the name of Jesus.

There is power in the name of Jesus – He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the name above every name. All of this takes time and practice, but you will start progress once you truly commit to casting down imaginations and commanding those negative thoughts to submit to the obedience of Christ. Never allow space or even the time of day for such criticism in your mind.

4. Make the Choice to STOP

God created us with free will. This means that we have a choice. You have a choice on whether you continue talking down to yourself, and criticizing every little thing you don’t like about yourself, or to choose not to speak badly to and about yourself.

You have the choice on whether or not you compare yourself to others, and bring yourself down, or to lift yourself up through scriptures on what God says about you. 

Make the choice to stop. Truly commit to spending each day drawing closer to God in His Word, abiding in Christ and doing those things that please and honor the Lord. None of this glorifies God. We are created in the image of God. This life is not about us; it is about serving and glorifying our Creator. Soon enough you will see that you have wasted all of these years speaking down to one of God’s precious creations. You are a child of God, so walk in the light and represent the light of Christ in all that you do (which includes the way you speak and think about yourself).

5. Surround Yourselves with Others who will Encourage You

You don’t have to be on this journey on your own. Surround yourself with others who will encourage you and lift you up – whether that be through scripture or in prayer. Go to Church and find a place to serve there. Put God first in all that you do. Don’t let anyone into your life who disrespects you or belittles you. Happiness is a choice, and if you are surrounded by those who love you and care for you and lift you up, then it is going to encourage you to feel and think and speak more positively about/towards yourself.

Start today, start NOW to stop the self-criticism

We aren’t promised tomorrow. God only gives us one day at a time, and that is actually so important to understand because we cannot focus on or worry about the future. We do not know what the future holds; only God does. Please don’t spend your days worrying or stressing about the little things. I pray that what I have shared will encourage you to learn to love yourself for who you are; for how God created you, and to stop all of this negativity. 

A lot of it is because we get so emotional and compare ourselves to others. And then the devil will use that weakness to swoop in and invade your mind with negative thoughts and feelings.

This is a journey that you are on, and it will take time. But you will get there. God loves you. You are so precious in His sight. 

God Bless.

Check out my devotionals to encourage you more in the faith, and even help with self-criticism!