5 Valuable Lessons I Have Learned Whilst Being A Single Christian
To all the single Christians out there, Happy New Year! Welcome to the Year 2022! I pray that this year will be an amazing one for you! Do you have any goals for the year? Check out my post on spiritual goals that you can set out to achieve in the new year.
Lately I have been reflecting upon all of the different lessons I have learned in the year 2021, and what are some important things that I can share with you to encourage you on your walk with Christ.
My Latest Achievements
One of the key things that stands out for me is the amount of work that I put in to ensure that I worked on my anxiety and mindset. I truly made sure that I wouldn’t get so easily anxious or afraid over certain things, and to continue to have a more positive and Christ-like mindset.
There was also plenty of times where I continued growing and maturing in the faith. I started actively reading the Bible every day, starting right from Genesis and would take notes to truly soak in all of the goodness behind the scriptures.
Another thing that I have done so well in is letting go of any kind of negative thoughts or beliefs about being single, and making sure that I wouldn’t be consumed with a sense of loneliness. It has been over 5 years now since I left my abusive ex and became single, and there have been so many valuable lessons that I have learned during my season of singleness.
Valuable Lessons Learned Whilst Being A Single Christian
These lessons are so important for other single Christians to learn about and set out to achieve as well.
Being single isn’t the end-all-be-all.
Feeling lonely is normal, but you cannot let it consume you or make you feel as though you need someone to fill that sense of loneliness.
You are single for a reason, and you are not falling into the trap of these tempting worldly, fleshly desires for a reason as well.
Being A Single Christian Has Its Advantages
A short while after I left my abusive ex-boyfriend, I actually wanted to get back into the dating scene again. I was actively seeking to be with someone else and would feel attraction towards a few guys that I was speaking to. But this wasn’t the right thing to do for me, and I soon figured that out.
There needed to be time to heal, and to make sure that I would never get myself into that kind of situation again.
I would have this desire to get back into the dating scene without any knowledge or understanding of the Biblical standards of dating and marriage, nor did I have any kind of standards set up to protect myself.
What I mean by this is that there are Godly standards when it comes to dating and marriage. These standards are written in the Bible, and are important for people to have before opening their heart up to someone else. It is ESPECIALLY important for someone like me who had been through so much physical, emotional and spiritual abuse before.
Check out my post on God’s Standards For Dating and Marriage here.
This is why being a single Christian has its advantages. There is a time and place for everything. Right now, you are single because it is God’s Will for you to go through this season of singleness. Perhaps it is to protect you, or to encourage you to focus more on God and less on wanting to be with someone else. Maybe you’re not ready, and there is more for you to learn.
Here are the 5 valuable lessons I have learned whilst being a Single Christian:
1. I Am Loved By God
I am loved by our Creator, our Heavenly Father. His perfect love is so important to me. Even if I am feeling alone, I am not really alone, because I always have Jesus and His perfect love in my life.
2. Patience Is Key
Being patient is of paramount importance when going through a season of singleness. It is never okay to rush things, especially when it comes to dating and marriage. God never rushed when He created the world and everything in it. He could have created the world with the click of a finger, but instead He took His time, and created everything in 6 full days. He certainly did not rush things when He created you either.
So why is there an urgent need to be with someone? Are you trying to fill a void of loneliness or unhappiness? Because you cannot depend on someone else to fill that void. If you are feeling lonely or unhappy, then you need to turn to Jesus.
You cannot jump into a relationship with someone and expect for them to resolve all of your issues. That is why being patient, taking time to heal and work on yourself, and your purpose in life is more important than just going into a new relationship and expecting things to fall into place thereafter.
3. Establish Healthy Boundaries and Godly Standards For Dating and Marriage
Do you have healthy boundaries and standards set up in place? (So you won’t get hurt or get involved with someone who is no good for you, and could hurt you?) What are you doing to protect yourself and to guard your heart?
Do you know what to look for when finding a Godly man to court? You need to learn more about the qualities of a Godly man, and the standards that he should have before you consider courting the man. You also need to know about the attributes of a Godly woman so that you will be able to fulfill God’s desires He has for marriage.
Learn more about establishing healthy boundaries and Godly standards here.
Here are 17 attributes of a Godly woman.
4. Do Not Lead With Your Heart
The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that the heart is deceitful above all things. Never lead with your heart. Always focus on God and His Will and His plans for you in your life. Do not let your heart lead you astray. Focus on God above.
5. Be Content and Happy
If there’s one thing I learned for certain over these past five years is to be content and happy with myself and my life. I have learned so much about myself over these few years and there has been a lot of personal growth and spiritual maturity.
That is why Paul preferred for Christians to be single, because you get to spend more time with God and as such there is more time for learning, correction, growth and maturity in the faith.
I truly hope and pray that what I have shared with you today will help you feel content and reassured in your season of singleness. Being a single Christian is great because it means that you get to spend more time on God and keeping on the straight and narrow.
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Featuring:
✔ Scriptures For Single Women
✔ Prayers To Embrace Your Season of Singleness
✔ Prayers For Your Husband
✔ Attributes of a Godly Woman (Proverbs 31 Woman)
✔ Positive Affirmations
✔ Inspiring Quotes For Single Women
Love no.5 it’s so true it really is about being content and happy in whatever season we are in because love isn’t somewhere out there, it’s inside each of us. He’s with us. We are already part of the greater love story ever told 🥰
This is so perfect for Valentine’s Day coming up!
So many people who are single struggle with it. I actually loved my single life for the reasons you listed. I was doing everything on my time and was able to help with ministry more.
You mentioned that we’re all single for a reason. I don’t know if all the singles are single because that’s “God’s will” for them. I get that people are trying to be encouraging when they say this, but can we really know that for sure?
Some people might not be single because it’s all “God’s plan.” We live in a bad world, where bad things happen, and life doesn’t always go our way. In matthew 19, Jesus talks about celibacy, and he mentions that some people are single because they were made that way by men. Eunuchs come to mind, but some of us do end up in bad situations. Or we make bad life decisions that don’t make us a good rpospect for marriage. Another example would be a new believer who grows up in a society where there’s not many Christians, and thus no eligible marriage candidates(think iran or Saudi Arabia, for example) That seems more like a case of circumstances and “man” making some of us single, rather than it all being part of God’s brilliant Master Plan.
Sometimes people will tell us that whatever’s happening in our life right now is “God’s best for us,” but that seems like a stretch. What if I’m unemployed, or homeless, or being abused? Are those things “God’s best for me right now.” We live in a bad world. I’m sure man’s sin has a real effect on the ppolof prospective mates that Christians can marry.
People are single for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it’s because we don’t know how to interact with the opposite sex. Sometimes it’s because nobody’s interested in us. Sometimes it’s because we live in a location where there’ no believers around, and thus no eligible marriage partners.
I’ve read a lot that there’s more Christian women than there are men. Meaning some of these women wbon’t be able to marry. Is that a worldly circumstance and consequence of human sin? Or part of God’s brilliant Master Plan?
Lots of happily married Christians are convinced that God “borught them together.” That He’s somehow “rewarded” them for their patience, or perseverance, or faithfulness, or something. I have doubts about this, too. There’s a lot of things we just don’t know about God, and about how God works. I guess this area is just one of them.
Sure, some people are certain that God “sends” us partners. Those people are usually married. Easy for them to say.
In Matthew, Jesus clearly states that some people won’t get married (19:10-12) The Bible has good things to say about both marriage and singleness. When Paul talks about this (1 Corinthians 7), he writes that, if you’re single and struggle to control sexual desires, you should try to get married. In this case, the Bible encourages marriage. It does not, however, promise that it’ll work out for you if you do decide to pursue it. He does say that not everyone has the gift of singleness. But I’m sure that there’s many who lack this gift who, despite everything, still don’t find mates. There’s also married Christians who suddenly find themselves single due to freak accidents and unspeakable tragedies.This all sounds cruel and messed up, but we live in a cruel and messed-up world. It’s not necessarily God’s “plan” or God’s “fault.” It’s just a harsh world we live in. Paul himself cautioned singles about marriage “because of the present crisis.” If a Christian is single again because their spouse suddenly died in a freak accident, is that because God wanted to “bless” them with singleness again because of how amazing and wonderful it is? I doubt it. It’s just a bad world we live in.
According to some Christians, if you’re single and never marry in your lifetime, it’s because of God’s will and calling. I don’t know about that. How are we supposed to know that for sure, exactly? Sometimes people will say this will only be revealed to you through long sessions of “prayer/meditation/contemplation,” or something like that. I’ve prayed over this for years, I still desire a relationship leading to marriage, and I still haven’t experienced success in this area of life, and I still haven’t “heard from God” on which path He supposedly wants for me. Maybe we just over-spiritualize the whole thing. And maybe God isn’t all that concerned with it. Maybe He just leaves the choice up to us.
Who knows, really?
You also mentioned that Paul preferred Christian to be single, because it meant you would have more time to devote to God. I’m not sure if that’s what Paul really meant. Paul said that it was his own personal opinion that singleness was better for the Corinthians, in part because that church was dealing with a lot of wordly troubles. It makes sense for him to caution people about marrying in a troubled time like that. At the same time, he doesn’t discourage marriage in general, and he recommended those who had strong sexual desires to marry. Also, being a pastor is a rather important ministry. They sure have to devote a lot of time to God. Why are all the pastors married then? Did they make a mistake?
I don’t mean to sound hyper-critical or anything, it’s just that singleness, and some church teachings about it,just raise so many questions for me.