How To Be Content In Your Season Of Singleness

How To Be Content In Your Season Of Singleness

It’s been a little while since I have written on the topic of singleness, but it has been put on my heart lately to share some things with you. As you may or may not recall, I am a single Christian mom.

I have been single for over five years now. There has been so much that I have learned over these past five years, and one of the most important things I have learned is to be content. 

To be content is to be completely okay with everything that is going on in your life, all that you have and all that you are. Being content means that you are completely satisfied and happy. 

Coming to a state of contentment as a single Christian can be hard. You will see other Christians who are dating or getting married, starting a family and living that life that you desire. 

But What About Loneliness?

We are only human and we can get lonely sometimes. We enjoy other peoples’ company. God created Eve for Adam, so His design was intended for a man and woman to be together and become one flesh. However, not everyone is going to want to get married, or to be with someone, and will be happy being by themselves.

A good example is the Apostle Paul. He commended those who stayed single and actually preferred it. But there were people who suffered with sexual sin and so he said it would be better for those kinds of people to marry than to burn (meaning better to marry than to be consumed by these sexual desires and thus caught up in sin). 

It is better to be alone than with the wrong person:

Don’t compare yourself to others. The grass is greener where you water it. Even though you might see other happy Christian couples, you never truly know what is going on behind closed doors. 

I was in an abusive relationship for over three years to a man who claimed to be a Christian, but was actually a wolf in sheep’s clothing. On the outside, people thought that we were this strong Christian couple preaching the Gospel to others; encouraging others to come to Christ. But behind closed doors I was getting abused day in and day out. That’s why I say there is more to it than meets the eye.

You need to focus on yourself. You need to focus on the journey that you are on and what God’s Will and plan is for YOUR life. 

You do not need to be with someone else in order to be happy or come to a level of contentment. There is no amount of things that you can do or people that you can be with that will fill that void of loneliness or emptiness inside of you.

You need JESUS. 

Jesus Must Come First (During This Season Of Singleness)

No matter where you are in your walk with Christ, or how old you are, if you are single, then it is for a darn good reason. The problem that many Christians have is feeling the need to be with someone rather than focusing on God’s Will first in their lives. They also have a problem with rushing into relationships that might not be approved by God, and could really cause some long-term damage. 

There is also a need to rush through relationships. Marriage is ultimately the end goal when you are seeking for a partner, and are dating for marriage. But, there is no need to rush through to the finish line. 

It takes a long time to properly get to know someone and to see all sides of them in all kinds of different situations. You do not truly know someone in such a short period of time, such as one year. 

I understand that the need to rush into things or to marry fast is because of those sexual desires/urges, but that is when you really need to take a step back and learn some self-control. Contentment comes to play as well.

Contentment Is Key In Your Season Of Singleness

Being content with being alone also means that you are happy to wait (as long as it takes) to be physical with someone once you’re married. You don’t have any kind of sexual urges that you need to fulfill, and you have truly won over the battle with this sin (which is lust, fornication and so on). 

A big part of coming to this level of contentment as a single Christian is loving yourself for who you are, and knowing your worth. You would never compromise your worth to be with someone who doesn’t deserve you; to settle with someone who isn’t your soulmate sent by God.

You value yourself, your body, your worth, your everything about you. You see yourself the same way that God sees you, and love yourself the same way that God does.

How can we get to this level of contentment? How can we feel completely satisfied with the current life that we are living without the need to be with someone else?

Here are 8 simple ways to be content in your season of singleness:

1. Put God First

Put God first always. I cannot say this enough. Keep your eyes on God above. Never lose sight of who matters the most in your life. When you put God first in all that you do, great things will happen. 

2. Learn To Love Yourself In Your Season Of Singleness

As I said before, learn to love yourself for who you are; for how God created you. There is no-one else like you in this world, and that is your power. Work through/let go of all of the insecurities that you have about yourself because otherwise these insecurities can unfold and hinder any kind of relationship that you get yourself in to.

You don’t want to hate yourself to the point where you think that being in a relationship with someone will change that. You cannot fill that void through relationships of any means (aside from Jesus). These things cannot be fixed in a relationship or marriage with someone else. Success from insecurities comes from within.

Learn more about self-love as a Christian here. 

3. Find The Joys In Your Life

What do you love the most about your life? What makes you happy/fills you with joy? Keep these things going in your life. 

Having a man in your life shouldn’t fill this void that you may have when it comes to not being happy or finding joy in things in life. You should be happy and content with all that is going on in your life, WHILST being single. 

4. Do God’s Will

Make sure that everything you do in your life is in accordance to God’s Will and not your own. Don’t fall into the trap of going on dating apps or trying to meet guys simply because you are lonely or feeling impatient. Everything happens in God’s perfect timing. You need to trust that.

Being single isn’t the end of the world. It’s better to wait upon the Lord then to end up in a bad relationship with someone that could hurt you, or damage your faith. 

5. Stay In Prayer During Your Season of Singleness

Always stay in prayer to God. Give everything to Him in prayer. Let your requests be known unto Him. Pray about your future husband. Pray for God to guide you in the right direction towards becoming that wonderful woman of God who is ready and willing to be in a relationship with/marry the one that God has for her. 

Also pray for God to help you with being patient and content as well. 

6. Let Go Of Unhealthy Thoughts/Beliefs

If you have any kind of unhealthy thoughts or beliefs about yourself, then you need to work on them, because otherwise these will manifest in your relationship, and could make things a whole lot worse. Having any kind of insecurities about yourself, or an overall negative mindset can be damaging when it comes to being in a relationship with someone else. You can’t expect others to resolve your problems for you.

You certainly do not want to enter into a relationship with too much baggage or insecurities. 

There needs to be a level of trust and there shouldn’t be any kind of jealousy either. You want to be completely open and comfortable with the person you are spending time with and getting to know. You are essentially dating for marriage; you are seeing if this person is a good fit to be your husband or not. 

That is why it is so important to work on yourself, your mindset, and letting go of anything that could be detrimental to yourself, or in a relationship. 

Women deal with a lot of insecurities, and it is no secret that there are so many negative influences in this world that peer pressure us into becoming something or someone that we are not. 

God tells us who we are. He knows everything about us: past, present and future. He sees you differently to how the world perceives you. Stop focusing on what others are thinking about you, or wanting you to become, and start seeing yourself for the way that God sees you each and every day. 

7. Say NO To Relationships Until You Are Completely Ready

If you do not feel confident or ready to get out into the dating world, then DON’T. Being single is a time to grow in the faith, get closer to God and learn some valuable lessons as a Christian. Dating/marriage isn’t the end all be all. 

Protect your value and worth, and guard your heart. 

8. Know Where Your Identity And Worth Lay

Your identity and worth are found in Christ alone. You are a child of God, a daughter of the King. Never let anyone come into your life and tell you otherwise, or let them compromise that truth. Do not allow anyone to take away your value and worth.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator. You are one of His beautiful creations. If they cannot see that, then they are not worthy of your time. 

If you are struggling with finding your identity and worth, then check out my NEW e-book called Finding Your Identity In Christ. 

I hope that everything that I have shared with you today is going to encourage you to truly enjoy your season of singleness and to learn to be content with being by yourself. I mean, you do have Jesus after all. Being single isn’t the end of the world. It is a chance for us to grow and mature in the faith and learn to find our identity and worth in Christ alone. 

We don’t need someone else to fill that void we might be feeling, which is loneliness. We can start to enjoy our own company and be happy with all that God has blessed us with in our lives. 

God Bless.

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Featuring:
✔ Scriptures For Single Women
✔ Prayers To Embrace Your Season of Singleness
✔ Prayers For Your Husband
✔ Attributes of a Godly Woman (Proverbs 31 Woman)
✔ Positive Affirmations
✔ Inspiring Quotes For Single Women