How To Find Contentment In Christ
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and something very important has been on my mind lately. For so many of us, this is a time to celebrate a day with our loved ones, but for others, who are by themselves, might spend it feeling sad or lonely.
Now, that might not always be the case, however, this post is a message for those of you who are single and are feeling sad or lonely about your current situation.
My Journey To Singleness
If you didn’t know already, I am a single Christian mom. I have been single for about 6.5 years now, and let me tell you, it gets better as time goes on.
When I first left my ex-boyfriend, things were really hard for me. I felt really miserable and lonely; I wanted to find someone else to be with. There were times when I would talk to some guys, catch some feelings, but nothing ever evolved. I was in such a sensitive and vulnerable time in my life. The last thing that I needed was to jump right into another relationship with someone else, simply because I didn’t like the feeling of being alone.
As time went on, I did a lot of personal development which meant that I was working on myself, healing from my past relationship, and other things that had happened in my life. I also redirected my focus from wanting to find someone else to be with, to actually just being still in this present moment.
What Does It Mean To Be Content in Christ?
There were so many valuable lessons that I had learned over the past 6.5 years about being a single Christian. One of the most important ones was learning to be content.
The Bible says in Philippians 4:11 to be content in all states (“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content”). No matter what is going on in your life, or what kind of season you are in, you must learn to be content.
You don’t need to be with someone in order to feel loved or to be happy. You don’t need to rush this season of singleness in order to jump into a marriage that you might not even be ready for.
God has created you with a purpose and plan for your life. He has called you for a time as this and the season you are in is for a reason. There is no need to rush it, or to feel impatient or unhappy because God is trying to reveal something to you.
What Does It Mean To Be In A Season Of Singleness?
Being in a season of singleness can bring about so much growth in the faith. You get to spend more time with God, drawing closer to Him. It is also a time where you can go through personal development, in order to grow and mature as a Christian and strengthen your faith and trust in God alone.
Marriage, and even being in a relationship, takes a lot of work. It isn’t a walk in the park. Marriage is such a sacred thing to God, and if you want to do God’s Will in your life, then you shouldn’t ever force or rush anything outside of His perfect timing.
Perhaps God wants to prepare you to become a wonderful wife to a man that He has set aside for you. Perhaps He is wanting you to adapt more characteristics of a Godly woman and wife in order to be someone who will fully surrender to Christ and submit to their husband.
Spend time with God in His Word, and in prayer, and ask Him what it is that He wants you to learn during this season.
How To Find Contentment In Christ
It is easier said than done when it comes to being content. But as Christians, Jesus should be enough for us. Jesus should be everything for us.
Our contentment isn’t found in things of this world, or from other people. Nothing can fill that void (whether it is loneliness, depression, anxiety, feeling unwanted or unloved). Only Jesus can fill that void.
Jesus is everything to me. He is my Lord and Savior; He created me and loves me so much. I am happy now being on my own since spending this time by myself in a wisely manner.
I have learned that no matter what my circumstances are, God is always going to be there for me, provide for me, look after me and watch over me. He knows everything that is going to happen in my life: past, present and future. There is nothing that is hidden to Him, or would surprise Him. So when I say this, I mean that I can rest knowing that I am in this season for a reason, and I am learning and growing so much. I am no longer feeling lonely or sad or in need of company, or yearning to be in relationship or to get married.
Not everyone is going to have that same desire, whether they want to stay single on their own accord, or like me, have been through so much trauma that they rather protect themselves, guard their hearts, and only trust in God.
Is Jesus enough for you? Are you going to completely surrender to Him and trust that everything will happen in His perfect timing, if it is His Will for you in your life? Will you learn to be content and at peace as a single Christian?
Ways To Have Contentment In Christ Alone
Here are 5 wonderful ways to have contentment in Christ alone.
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Focus on God
Colossians 3:2 – “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth”.
Keep your focus on God above, and not the things of this world. Everything in this world is temporary. As I said before, nothing and no one can feel that void, aside from Jesus. Return to your first love. Spend time with God each day, putting Him first, and trusting Him completely.
2. Practice Gratitude
1 Thessalonians 5:18 – ” In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you”.
Be grateful for all that you have in your life. Thank God that you are safe and not in any kind of bad relationship, especially if it is one with someone that God does not want you to be with. You have so much going on in your life. There is so much to be thankful for. Rather than solely focusing on the fact that you aren’t with anyone, be grateful that you have Jesus and He is more than enough. That is truly finding contentment in Christ.
3. Change Your Mindset
Romans 12:2 – “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”.
Paul was content in being single; he actually preferred it. He would preach to others about staying single, unless they either couldn’t control their urges (their sexual desires), or simply wanted to get married.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be single, and not desire marriage. There is also nothing wrong with desiring to be married. As long as we have the right mindset about it though.
We don’t want to rush things, or take things into our own hands. We don’t want to end up with someone simply because we don’t want to be alone or feel unhappy. Our goal is to enjoy and work through the season that we are in, and prepare ourselves for the next stages of our lives. We don’t want to feel unprepared, rushed, or not fully ready to become a wife.
This is very important because there is actually a difference between a woman who wants a husband and a woman who wants to be a wife.
Are you ready to make a life-long commitment to this person? Do you truly love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them? Do you want to actively take on the roles of a wife to this man? Or do you simply just want to be married to someone to avoid being alone for the rest of your life?
4. Do God’s Will In Your Life
Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths”.
Put God first. Do His Will in your life. Simple right? Let God guide you; let Him direct your steps. Stop taking control of your own life, and submit to Him. Surrender your all to Him. He knows what is best for you.
5. Be Patient and Wait on The Lord
Psalm 27:14 – “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD”.
If you are truly wanting/desiring marriage, then practice patience. It sucks, I know, I have felt that way before. But it is so important to wait on The Lord. Never take things into your own hands, because you may end up doing something you regret.
Final Thoughts About Contentment In Christ
I pray that this message encourages you today to put God first and learn to be content in Christ, no matter what kind of season you are in. God loves you and cares for you. He knows what is best for you, so trust Him!
God Bless.
Check out my latest e-book and devotional, How To Become A Proverbs 31 Woman In The Modern World!
Learn all about who the Proverbs 31 woman is and how to become a Godly woman in the modern world 🙂
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